What is the definition of Patches Body Enhancing Protective Liquid?

"Patches body enhancing protective liquid is like a superhero with an umbrella, but instead of saving the world from villains, it shields your skin from the sun's rays, your sweat, and those pesky bug bites. It's a self-care solution, but don't think it'll make you glow like a superhero - it'll just keep you in your own body, which is basically saying it's not a patch on its face, it's more like a temporary band-aid on your skin."

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And here's an edgy example sentence: "After my disastrous skydiving adventure, I swiped a bottle of patches body enhancing protective liquid - it saved my face but left me with a permanent, slightly 'pray-painted' look that would make even a cybernetic squirrel jealous."